ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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