just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize