i don't like sucking hair
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
