I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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