The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I didn't notice because vodka
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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