Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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