So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
