Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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