im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
