im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
