Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
