that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
