your room smells of hookers.
And success
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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