Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
