Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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