the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You're like the curious george of whores
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
