Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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