do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
