what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
