Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
