Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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