peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
