She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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