Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nutella sex= disaster
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How's work?
Spinning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
