Got a toothbrush?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
