so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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