dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
