this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
