It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
