she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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