I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
