I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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