wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
