dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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