Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
