i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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