I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
