Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
