so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
