I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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