i may or may not be watching the land before time
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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