i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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