I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
