We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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