You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
