you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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