K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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