HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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