i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
