walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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