I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
