He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
