I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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