I puked a lego.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
